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Bookends Fall

by Jody Ellen

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1.
In the quiet places On the highest shelf Where words transcend You see yourself To tall to grasp Your story is wide All of you is yearning To step inside Beginnings are ending And endings begin Between each cover you find New meaning within Fighting to reach I give this my all I'll not be contained These bookends must fall These bookends must fall
2.
I'm not enough for everyone Haven't got enough time Not everything I want to be But I pretend like I'm doin' just fine I struggle for self control Not as thin as I'd like But this world goes round, sun up to black But Perfectionism doesn't work like that And I can't be perfect All the time A little more flawed A little less blind But I bend, how I break To fit the mold That I somehow have Cemented In my mind I wanna be free What more can I be? I’m torturing- me Narrowed straight I walk this path Follow script and play my part Perfected lines unforgotten dreams Never knowing the end or start How I struggle for my own soul Not as strong as I'd like But this war goes on in full attack And "Perfect" is my hell and back And I can't be perfect All the time A little more flawed A little less blind But I bend, how I break To fit the mold That I somehow have Cemented In my mind I wanna be free What more can I be? Who am I torturing? Oh And I can’t be perfect don't you see Why can't you let me be me I’m not your hopes, I’m not your dreams All the pressure, All the pain All these voices placing blame They all start to sound the same But cant you see That it’s killing me I can't be perfect All the time A little more flawed A little less blind But I bend, how I break To fit the mold That I somehow have Cemented In my mind I wanna be free Who else can I be? But simply me But simply me
3.
I Try 04:17
I wake up in this nightmare And I see you standin' there And I wonder how to get you back I try to tell you how I feel but it's never quite enough Starting to think I'll never be just what you want And I try to get you Get you to try to love And I try to want you To want you back enough For you to even notice This never felt so wrong I've never been this hopeless And never been this strong But I try I try I try Whoa I try I try I try So I leave this, try to forget this I have to close my eyes to see But I can't forget what we were As I'm watching her dreams come true I just exist in black and white Is this someone else's life that I endure And I try to get you Get you to try to love And I try to want you To want you back enough For you to even notice This never felt so wrong I've never been this hopeless And never been this strong But I try I try I try Whoa I try I try I try But I try I try I try But everything I see is black and white
4.
Kaleidoscope 04:28
As I lay awake I feel our heart break But you see through me Right through my melody Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me As I lay awake I feel my heart race Recollect the face I quietly erase Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Whoah, in the name of blind we trust Whoah, through this veil of shame and lust Whoah, with every turn we could combust Whoah, in this kaleidoscope of us As I lay awake It's all I can take Wishing that I knew Any part of you Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me Yeah Whoah in the name of blind we trust Whoah through a veil of shame and lust Whoah with every turn we could combust Whoah in this kaleidoscope of us Can't get you to feel me Can't get you to hear me
5.
This Song 03:36
You think this song is about you But I know better than that You're gonna have to try harder You'll have to do much better than that Cause I don't care what you're doin' Don't know where you been And you don't even know who I am And I don't care what you say Don't need it anyway But I know you think that I do You've got your song You've got your song But you got it wrong You think this song is about me And everything that we had But you don't know the damage that I've seen It's erasing all of your bad And I don't care what you're doin' And I don't know where you've been And you don't even know who I am And I don't care what you say Don't need it anyway But I know you think that I do You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song You've got your song But you got it wrong Oh oh oh oh oh oh Time has a way of getting all away from us But it has been good for me now I am all grown up And do o you believe it now that we have grown apart Cause I'm not that little girl that time you broke her heart But you still think this song is about you But I know better than that
6.
Go Home 04:52
Go home and tell him everything The Nightmare truth Dont leave out anything One night in a heated dream Come the morning light The end of everything Promised lies and broken eyes Don't make me wake Our murdered love in lust stained sheets I just can't face I cannot speak Please just let me sleep Please just let me sleep tonight Oh please just let me sleep Go home, and tell him anything With trusted words He's Unsuspecting One night in your arms, your bed But When I leave A woman walking dead Promised lies and broken eyes Don't make me wake Don't kiss me softly And call my name Safe in dreamland Your heart can't break I cannot sleep Please just let me sleep Please just let me sleep tonight Oh please just let me sleep tonight Go home and tell him everything Silent drive alone in this seattle rain
7.
Your Life 04:47
Wondering how you're feeling right now And no one knows Wondering where you're going to be And only you will see This life has shown you no regrets Though you sit all alone you cry And even though we tried, we never gave to you All you needed and now we cry For your life, for your life Wondering if you've stayed around To see our faces Wondering how this world can go on Without your face in it This life has shown you no regret Though you sit all alone you cry And even though we tried, we never gave to you All you needed and now we cry For your life, for your life This life has shown you no regrets Though you sit all alone you cry And even though we tried, we never gave to you All you needed and now we cry For your life, for your life We're falling apart, we're falling apart, we're falling apart at the scene We're falling apart, we're falling apart, we're falling apart at the scene We're falling apart, we're falling apart, we're falling apart at the scene We're falling apart, we're falling apart, we're falling apart at the scene
8.
One step away from the past, from the black One step away from it all One step away from the calling me back In every dream I recall When I fall down When I run, run to you When I give all up And let all out All these casings I undue When I fall down I'll get back up As long as you are with a beating heart Whoah, whoah One step away from the love, from the the bleeding One step away from change One step away from the ones who never knew me One step away or stay the same When I fall down And I run, run to you When I give all up And let all out All these casings I undue When I fall down I'll get back up As long as you are with a bleeding heart Whoah, whoah Bum bum bum bum bum Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum Bum bum bum bum bum Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum When I fall down I'll get back up As long as you are with a beating heart When I fall down I'll get back up As long as you are with a beating heart Whoah, whoah
9.
Let Me Go 04:12
How come you can't just let me go Isn't it been long enough I changed my mind But you try to play me like I'm still blind Just let me go Just let me go What are you holding on for There's nothing left for you To do here anymore How come you try although I blocked it Wouldn't it be nice to live a day without it You can't make someone love again I can't fake or even try to pretend Just let me go Just let me go What are you holding on for There's nothing left for you To do here anymore And I don't remember the way That you'd hold me And make to mistake that I'd try At all And I won't just sit around and let you Waste another minute of my precious time Reminding me what I had to lie for So just let me go Just let me go Let me go Let me go Let me go Let me go Let me go Let me go Let me go
10.
Lost at Sea 03:37
Gone off the deep end into you As you shed the salt from my wounds Remove it all with just one touch Messages you send hold so much I can see your eyes Feel them studying And I can almost see What you see in me Swimming through the blue They're holding onto you We could almost be Lost at sea Feel the current sway beneath the waves Breaking down the code with every gaze Don't have to say them but you do Perfect words for moments come true I can see your eyes Feel them studying And I can almost see What you see in me Swimming through the blue They're holding onto you We could almost be Lost at sea Our location no one knows So tread and swirl around Don't look up, come up for air Sink with me to the ground (beneath the waves, beneath the waves) Where I can see your eyes Feel them studying And I can almost see What you see in me Swimming through the blue They're holding onto you We could almost be Lost at sea We could almost be drowned at sea (beneath the waves, beneath the waves)
11.
Goodbye 04:47
Goodbye I couldn't make you love me So goodbye You could have should have held me But you lied To reach you still as family Well I tried I tried However silence kills Even open hearted wills I wanted it to be real But deaf ears fall to my appeals So goodbye Goodbye Goodbye It didn't have to be this way Oh but why These questions have no part to play Yet inside My heart was breaking day by day Now it died It died To proud to make the choice Using absence over voice And your manipulating force WelI I will take that nevermore This is goodbye Goodbye Goodbye We'll walk away forever and I'll cry A little while but tears they tend To dry I'll go on without you and I'll be Just fine This is goodbye

about

"Beginnings are endings, and endings begin. Between each cover you find new meaning within…"

Jody Ellen's second album Bookends Fall is a full length- 11 song album written by Jody Ellen and produced by Andy Bruno. The songs featured on this album range from Alternative Rock, to Electronic Dance, to Melancholy ballads, to fierce Pop Punk.

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released May 23, 2014

Produced by: Andy Bruno & Jody Ellen
Recorded by: Andy Bruno & Nathaniel Johnstone
Recorded at: Monkey Trench Studios w/ Mike Herrera

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Jody Ellen Seattle, Washington

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